Earlier this year, I had an experience that showed me my distrust with women in my life and the following journal entry describes my journey of the anguish of broken Sisterhood then on to finding comfort in my relationship with my partner, G.
G is a symbol of my current relationship to the masculine and men in my life. Trusting, supporting, comforting, honoring. I am grateful.
I recently attended a gathering of women in New Mexico, Grandmothers Summit organized by the Sister of Honua. My intention to attend was to connect with women still knowing that there was “something” regarding my experience of broken Sisterhood. I chose to take proactive yet subtle approach and put all my trust and knowing into simply connecting with women. No story telling, no healing,no re-hashing, just simply to be in trust and knowing and ALLOW all to be well. There was nothing for me to do except show up.
On the second evening of the Grandmother’s Summit, I found myself in puddles of tears for absolutely no particular reason. I awoke the next morning and spontaneously dressed in all black (the dark) and stripped myself of any amulets or jewelry. It wasn’t until I gazed out onto the mountainside and saw glimpses of faces in nature, like the ones you can imagine in cloud formations, that my inconsolable crying stopped.
The presenters presented; Hillary Raimo~ Spirit Dolls, Mellissa Seaman~ Yoni Speak and Max Dashu~ Supressed History slide show. In Spirit Dolls I created a new vision of Sisterhood and recognized the blessed connection with the masculine and male energies in my life. Yoni Speak took me to the depths of dream time and rejuvenation from a cry fest as well as showed me the power of Breath. Supressed History showed me thousands and thousands of years of pictoglyphs, pottery and art depicting Women in their Power and the profoundness of the dark and the light of being a woman.
Then it was time for lunch yet I had a mission: To go to the swimming pond and dunk three times for Body, Heart and Spirit and cleanse the emotional movement I had experienced the night before and earlier that morning. I dunked, then showered and dressed, again spontaneously, in white and bright colors (the light).
So I share this journey with you that began some moons ago, a bit of my own prophecy manifesting here and now. Tonight there are women gathering all over the world sharing their dark and their light, sharing and remembering that our tears and our breath are our medicine, our remedy, our power.
We gather together allowing us to be enveloped in Love. There is nothing more for us to do.
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Journal Entry April 20, 2010
I See it in My Dreams
My primal essence was unleashed
as the full moon rose
over the mountains.
I see the piece of me
I’ve been seeking to reclaim
AHHHrrrr…MMAAAaaaaa!!!!!
I cry out an agonizing shriek!
There “IT” is again
yucky vulnerability!
**inhale a breath of life, send “IT” into love**
Shattered
to pieces
small triangular
shards of glass
this “IT”
that which no longer desires to be within my field.
**inhale a breath of life send “IT” into love**
My primal essence
broke through the invisible
glass of illusion
**inhale a breath of life, send “IT” into love**
Bounds of limitation
freed by your embrace
safe and nurtured.
**inhale a breath of life send “IT” into love**
We are perfectly encircled
as “Love”
envelops our beings.